Hehehe..

So I finally have something to share. Yay!

All of a sudden… my friend says she wants to come to church. And she’s been thinking about it for 2 years, since the time i first brought her to CF. Which was the first week of school when we still didn’t even know each other. Which was way before the mad circus began and we grew apart and then grew rapat again. Funny how God uses our zealousness, the very thing we often despise as we grow up… as unassuming seeds. It’s crazy, it’s crazy… against the backdrop of everything else happening in school, to hear those words.

God showed me this week that all the while… all the while… He is working behind the scenes. I doubt i’m the only one who has been sowing into her life. Certainly there have been other factors too.

The most ironic thing of all is of course, the fact that this is the year I changed my focus in school. It is no longer evangelizing and reaching out but being equipped i.e. getting good grades and learning all I can in the mean time. This does not mean all things spiritual go out the back door. It means a shift in focus, a more responsible way of looking at life (?) and a greater surrender to God to move when He likes. I’m not forcing Him in anymore, I’m letting Him work and in His time.

And within two months? Wow. Hmm…. interesting. interesting. I like this way of working, God. 🙂

And I love ISTJs!  Haha!

 

Now pray that her parents will allow her to come for our family camp.

Where words cannot go

Ah… the hymns. They open up a space in the soul yet to be explored. Such words, such beauty.

I think i’m glad i’m discovering them only now. If I grew up with them i might appreciate them less. By discovering them I mean, going past the common ones that everyone knows — those are no less beautiful, they just fall short of representing the full depth of our heritage.

I want to explore the stories, the musical influences, the timeline. Why is it that the worship songs of certain periods have outlasted many others? What made them do so? And why is it that only certain strains have traveled the distance and implanted themselves in our Christian history?  Is it because many missionaries were whites that we have more of a Western liturgy heritage (as opposed to e.g. Gospel from the African American church, which ironically was the precursor of the rock-based worship style now heard in most churches) That actually leads me to another question, why is that most missionaries were whites and not blacks? Financial reasons? Theology emphases?

Grrr… i want more time for all these things!

And I think it’s awesomely ironic that hymns bring you to a place of worship where words fail.

Hmm… God said let me surprise you, so I wonder what he’ll do. I’m ready to have my way of thinking blown.

Sakitnye…

Killer days are no joke. I don’t know how people do it on a weekly basis. Being in school from 9 – 12 is quite ok. But if it’s am to am it’s not!

A thought came yesterday. I wonder if i can go through tomorrow without complaining. Hmm that will be a challenge. Haha i don’t know if i passed my own challenge but even if I did it was not by hundred percent. I’ve forgotten how painful braces can get right after they begin to tighten. But how do I last 15 hours of non-stop school activity without acting. I mean eating? Haha that was a real typo.

God’s grace.

I realize that the biggest stretch of endurance… or the final test of patience, is not the physical limitations. But it’s the person’s attitude, the inner fuse that determines whether you have had an emotional breakdown or are still holding it together. It’s like a waterbag… haha. Am i being a weird? i can’t tell la… brain is not functioning at normal wavelength.

There is so much to learn and it is all good. But I feel like we are ingesting rich rich food at a rate of 3 Thanksgiving-sized dinners a day. Without giving the stomach time to rest. But then this is school. It’s only for so long and how much you can do within this short period? All that you can.

Had a time of short sharing during worship practice. When it came to my turn, i realized WHILE talking that the braces are quite a cute analogy of struggles, in particular with pain. Ok to begin with…. there’s pain. Nope it’s not a natural thing we’re born with, at least for most people. But it’s something we learn to cope with as we grow older. Once in awhile we will get this kind of pain, which is an annoying pain that you are AWARE of every minute and affects the way you talk, the way you move, the way you eat. However the interesting thing is that .. it’s not so much the pain per se that irritates the h out of you, but the discomfort. It’s not painful enough to make you scream and maybe faint or try a form of escapism… but it’s smallish and there and present. And never budging. Like a thorn. Well there the negative similarities end. Of course you know the positive outcome – the pain is a worthy price for the beauty that comes later. All in the perfect time.

Except i can’t see it yet. I am still at the stage of pain. 🙂  But learning to smile through it. As Winston Churchill said, “If you can’t smile, grin!”

There is nothing

A beautiful song from Laura Story:

 

And there is nothing, there is nothing

More precious, more worthy.

May I gaze deeper; may I stay longer.

May I press onward to know You, Lord.